I am a huge fan of funny tattoos. Funny tattoos do not mean bad tattoos I mean tattoos that you look at and go "ha, that's amazing". It's probably because I think people are far too serious nowadays and I am very fond of silliness. Since becoming increasingly popular, a horrid new wave of "pretentious tattoo snobbery" has bestowed upon us. The new wave is that it is physically impossible to be tattooed anywhere that cannot be seen. People seem to be getting forearms done before anything else and if you have a slightly wobble in a line or some colour has dropped they hone in on it like some Lord of the tattooed people club and look at you in disgust.
I got my tattoos for me. Whether you like them really doesn't even cross my little mind.
I wanted to try an experiment for my list. Senses get heightened when one sense is low or down so I wanted to know what it felt like to get tattooed without being able to see then I upped the game to I wasn't even going to know what I was going to get tattooed.
I went to see lovely Justin Witney at Alley Cat Ink on Plassey Street, Penarth. Being a friend of mine I trust him quite a bit and we have a very similar sense of humour so I felt in safe hands. I explained what I wanted and just said "No swears, No football related stuff and no genitalia (boobs included)!"
The day arrived and around midday I went into panic mode, I didn't tell him no clowns! I have the biggest phobia of clowns and obviously out all the things in the entire world, Justin had obviously drawn up a massive killer clown that was going to take up my entire leg. I started getting sweaty and shaky. It was against the rules to ask what I'm getting done. I also hadn't put it in the no list. What was I going to do? I got so worked up about it I had to send a message to Justin's lovely wife Chrissie, just to make sure it wasn't a clown. She assured me it wasn't but still didn't say what it was.
So I rocked up to the shop not knowing what I was having done. I hopped on to the chair and tied my scarf around my eyes. I was ready.
My husband spent the next five minutes poking me in the face and tapping me on the shoulder like a 10 year old. Hearing Justin prepare the ink and the machine start to buzz I fully span out. I got really discombobulated so I untied my scarf. I decided to just keep my eyes closed and hold my scarf by my eyes instead.
I spent the next hour absolutely hating the experience. I love getting tattooed. It very rarely hurts me but not being able to open my eyes and look in the direction of what was going on was actually a really weird experience. I even had to get up and get some air outside as I felt like I was going to faint. The only way I can describe it was like motion sickness. It was actually a little bit scary. It made me think long and hard about how much we take sight for granted. All the noises that im so used to were completely different and I couldn't pinpoint where things were or where they were coming from. It was just an absolutely horrible time. I was so disappointed in myself.
I have never wanted to hug anyone so much as when Justin said he was finished. So now was the moment of actually finding out what was now on my leg FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
The shock of it was massive. I had loads of hysterical things in my mind but he actually tattooed a really beautiful blue tit (although the reason was because he found a loophole of how he could tattoo a tit on my leg) I absolutely adore it.Funnily enough they are actually one of my favourite species of bird. I named it Justin in honour of Justin.
I will never do that again (Blindfolded)
All photos taken by my husband.
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