Tuesday 1st April- New phone day
Saturday, 31 May 2014
The Big 3-0 #5 April
Friday, 30 May 2014
The big 3-0 #12 let my friends know how much I love them. Every cloud has a friend shape lining
A few years ago I experienced the king of break-ups. A break-up that shattered me emotionally and physically and in all honesty I am still not 100% over it. This break-up wasn't from a lover, it was between me and my best friend.
If you were in front of me and you asked me why we weren't friends anymore my reply would be an over-exaggerated shrug and a look of bewilderment. I honestly do not know what happened to her or us. She simply just stopped talking to me. Well, she stopped talking to everyone. She had gone abroad for a year but with Wi-Fi being so available and social media being the norm of contacting people nowadays there was no excuse to fall out of contact. It was like she had vanished into thin air.
We had been best friends for almost a decade. We were inseperable, thick as thieves. If she was there, I was there and visa versa. She helped me through some of the darkest times and smiled with me through the happiest. We rarely spent any time apart from the minute we became friends to the minute I waved her off on her coach as she departed for the other side of the world. Then, for four months, I didn't hear from her. Nothing.
I clung on for dear life to our friendship. I facebooked her to the point where people said I looked like a stalker as I had no replies from her. I talked about her and stuck on her team to the point where it became a bit of a problem with my other friends. They could see how much of a mug I was being. I spent a fortune calling her foreign mobile and when she returned home I offered her an entire olive tree only to watch her set it alight and turn it to ash.
I miss her terribly. Sometimes I want to punch her, others I want to hug her. Mostly I would just like to know why.
If you were in front of me and you asked me why we weren't friends anymore my reply would be an over-exaggerated shrug and a look of bewilderment. I honestly do not know what happened to her or us. She simply just stopped talking to me. Well, she stopped talking to everyone. She had gone abroad for a year but with Wi-Fi being so available and social media being the norm of contacting people nowadays there was no excuse to fall out of contact. It was like she had vanished into thin air.
We had been best friends for almost a decade. We were inseperable, thick as thieves. If she was there, I was there and visa versa. She helped me through some of the darkest times and smiled with me through the happiest. We rarely spent any time apart from the minute we became friends to the minute I waved her off on her coach as she departed for the other side of the world. Then, for four months, I didn't hear from her. Nothing.
I clung on for dear life to our friendship. I facebooked her to the point where people said I looked like a stalker as I had no replies from her. I talked about her and stuck on her team to the point where it became a bit of a problem with my other friends. They could see how much of a mug I was being. I spent a fortune calling her foreign mobile and when she returned home I offered her an entire olive tree only to watch her set it alight and turn it to ash.
I miss her terribly. Sometimes I want to punch her, others I want to hug her. Mostly I would just like to know why.
I have seen her a handful of times and we act like strangers in the street. Every time it happens I feel physically sick and I shake for hours and - once I am away from my children - I weep. I grieve for her and our friendship. Sometimes I feel so lost without her yet other times I can't believe we lasted as long as we did.
That feeling of panic when you see an ex is nothing like I experience when I see her. It is pain like no other. She made a fool of me and us and I hate that so many years have passed and it still effects me so much, especially because she doesn't give two hoots.
But with the bad comes the good.
I have now surrounded myself with a very close knit circle of "beyond friends". This is what I call those special ones that you love and cherish so much. I had probably, unintentionally, put a few of them slightly on the backburner before because I was so utterly devoted to my best friend. I know that for a few years I even put her before my husband. Since we parted ways I have learned a lot about myself, the way I treat people and how I wanted to be treated. As we grow we all have friendships that naturally drift apart just by life getting in the way but the "beyond friends" are here to stay. Over the last few years they have made me feel happy and secure and, above all, loved. I am proud of each and every one of my friends in so many ways and I am so thankful for everything they do for me from the comforting hugs when I'm sobbing to the shared laughs when I'm happy. For the random texts of crap to the obscene pictures on snapchat, the shared links on Facebook, the pictures of things that remind them of me or us, all those little things make my life richer and happier and warm and I would walk in darkness without each ray of sunshine that are my beyond friends.
But with the bad comes the good.
I have now surrounded myself with a very close knit circle of "beyond friends". This is what I call those special ones that you love and cherish so much. I had probably, unintentionally, put a few of them slightly on the backburner before because I was so utterly devoted to my best friend. I know that for a few years I even put her before my husband. Since we parted ways I have learned a lot about myself, the way I treat people and how I wanted to be treated. As we grow we all have friendships that naturally drift apart just by life getting in the way but the "beyond friends" are here to stay. Over the last few years they have made me feel happy and secure and, above all, loved. I am proud of each and every one of my friends in so many ways and I am so thankful for everything they do for me from the comforting hugs when I'm sobbing to the shared laughs when I'm happy. For the random texts of crap to the obscene pictures on snapchat, the shared links on Facebook, the pictures of things that remind them of me or us, all those little things make my life richer and happier and warm and I would walk in darkness without each ray of sunshine that are my beyond friends.
So, To my most precious friends (you know who you are) I owe so much to each and every one of you. Thank you, with every inch of me, for everything you do. I love you all so much.
Sunday, 25 May 2014
The big 3-0 #20 Glamorgan coastal walk
Firstly, I want to say massive Kudos to Gareth Phillips. Gareth has recently just completed walking the ENTIRE welsh coastal path. Over two months he walked a gazillion miles, all on his own, with a bit of tarp as his tent. That is mega hardcore. I have been having palpitations about walking 15 miles for almost a year!
I love walking, as I don't drive I walk everywhere. All joking aside, I actually thought this would be a bit of a breeze. My husband and I were actually going to up the ante and walk Porthcawl to Penarth over two days stopping off at Llantwit Major for a night in between. We had arranged the whole thing but our plans were smashed to smithereens when we discovered that not a single campsite would allow us to camp for just one night due to the bank holiday it was a three night stay minimum. I refused to just put a tent up anywhere as I have a severe fear of getting in trouble with the police.
After much procrastinating my husband and I decided that - as we had a child-free day and I had booked the day off work - we would combine our much needed holiday shopping day with a hefty walk. The new plan was set we would walk to Cardiff from Penarth do our shopping and walk home. Piece. Of. Cake.
Then the rain came, stupid rain!
We set off early. I felt ropey after not having the best sleep thanks to my eldest daughter vomiting all over the place but there was no other opportunity to do this so armed with an umbrella and a bucket full of enthusiasm we started our journey.
Pont-Y-Werin bridge, my Mum's boat is amongst those moored there.
Twenty minutes in, my husband had never seen these parts before
On the Cardiff side of the water now
Amazing street art on Penarth Road
Food was gone and we started our journey home. I seriously regretted sitting down and eating now.
The rain got heavier and the two of us had to huddle under my tiny umbrella. we weren't impressed! Neither was my fringe!
Entering Cardiff Bay area. Home seemed close.
Took a few minutes of shelter under Cardiff Millennium Centre. Such an impressive building.
Merchant's ship War memorial. I was lagging. we had both started to whinge a bit so this was a bit of a sobering moment. I have no idea how all those men did all those things for us. We have it so easy compared to them and because of them. We are all in debt to all those brave soldiers.
I spy Penarth
The sails on Cardiff Barrage for Captain Scott. Pretty incredible that he started his journey in these waters.
Just as we got to the Penarth end the bloody gates closed to let the boats through. Stopping for 15 minutes was just the worst so close to the end of our journey.
The engineering of this bridge is incredible.
Made it up the huge mountain (hill, whatever!) and saw our entire route before us. Felt pretty good.
Home. My legs died.
Just over twenty miles walked. That's a pretty cool accomplishment. It was fun. It would've been better if the weather hadn't been so rubbish.
I love walking, as I don't drive I walk everywhere. All joking aside, I actually thought this would be a bit of a breeze. My husband and I were actually going to up the ante and walk Porthcawl to Penarth over two days stopping off at Llantwit Major for a night in between. We had arranged the whole thing but our plans were smashed to smithereens when we discovered that not a single campsite would allow us to camp for just one night due to the bank holiday it was a three night stay minimum. I refused to just put a tent up anywhere as I have a severe fear of getting in trouble with the police.
After much procrastinating my husband and I decided that - as we had a child-free day and I had booked the day off work - we would combine our much needed holiday shopping day with a hefty walk. The new plan was set we would walk to Cardiff from Penarth do our shopping and walk home. Piece. Of. Cake.
Then the rain came, stupid rain!
We set off early. I felt ropey after not having the best sleep thanks to my eldest daughter vomiting all over the place but there was no other opportunity to do this so armed with an umbrella and a bucket full of enthusiasm we started our journey.
Entering Cardiff Town Centre now- Brains Brewery is so iconic to us. There is always a faint smell of hops around this area.
We had no entered Cardiff town Centre. We had to cross over to the top end as my hubs wanted to get his hair cut. We went in a few shops, got some clothes for holiday then headed towards the eatery area of St. David's 2 shopping centre. I bumped into an old friend Richie with his parents. I used to live opposite him and it was so incredible to see him. He said he had been reading my blog so I thought I would give him a mention. I wish I had taken a photo of us. Hubs and I then went for lunch. I was cold and tired so of course, a jacket spud with cheese and beans sounded like heaven and my god, it was!
Another one off my list. My legs hurt today - Loads!
The big 3-0 #5 March
Saturday 1st March- Invested in new swimwear then received a message to say that my surprise day out the next day involved swimwear, it was like it was meant to be!
Sunday 2nd March- Very sleepy after a long yet amazing day out for my faux hen do
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